Thursday, July 5, 2012

CVCA Reflection

My ninth and tenth grade year are two years that i will NEVER ever forget. Those two years were absolutely key in my life, in every single aspect. My ninth grade year was one of the hardest years i lived through. That year i started a new high school, and not knowing many people. I felt warmly welcomed at CVCA but it was VERY different from what i was used to. It never felt like school. At hudson, school was a chore. At cvca i enjoyed being around people who were living for the Lord. The difference that that alone made in my life was extreme. That year, in October, the divorce started. On October 1,2010 I ran away from my home, and went to go live with my sister. I had enough of what i was living through. and that was my last resort. My sister Kelly is my life saver, my inspiration, my role model, and the best mother figure in my life. Without her my family would not be where it is today. we've recently started to call her "The Voice of Reason" because she always seems to have a solution. Kelly always knew that the situation that Darby and I were living in was not healthy for us. She did everything in her power to get us out. She was there through every possible situation. Without her, i would not be the person i am today.
On October 1, 2010, when I ran away, was the first step to the rest of my life. That day i was sent a text from my friend Katherine, that changed my life forever. In it she said, "You've depended on yourself and your father to get you out of this bad situation and nothing has happened. Even if you're using God as a last resort, give it to Him because you wont be disappointed." To me that was the stupidest thing i'd ever heard. At that point i had zero faith in God. I thought if it's so true that God loved me so much, then why would he take away my mom, and replace her with the awful person that he did.That night, as a last resort, i prayed to God and i said "God if youre listening, please get me out of here." i said that every single day for a week. and sure enough on November 18, 2010 we were out. We were out of the house that i called home for 8 years. Darby and i were FINALLY free to live our lives. I was able to have my sister, and brother a part of my life. And i was aloud to have every one from my past come be a part of my present and future. and to me it was the biggest relief. That day i smiled and i meant it. i was for once actually happy. On November 18, 2010 i was laying in my new bed thinking about how excited i was to be out and realized that it was a miracle. i realized that God is real, i put faith in Him and i was out! that night, November 18, 2010 i fully dedicated my life to the Lord. Because i realized that the day that i looked for his guidence, that i was happy.
Time went on and i was still eager to find out who God was. and the more i found out, the more i loved. The school year ended and Pittsburgh Project was right around the corner. I knew that week was going to be very life changing, but i didn't know how. That week i was given the opportunity to tell Katherine that she was the reason that i believed in God, and that is the best gift i've ever recieved. God did a lot in my life that week that brought me closer to Him.
Sooner than later, tenth grade came around. Everything was going great, my faith was at its highest point. I was happy.
Basketball started.
I could go in a LOT of detail about what happened in that season but i'd rather spend my time telling all of you what i learned from it. To make a long story short.. Basketball was my everything, It was my stress reliever, i found so much joy in playing it. i played more than i did my homework. it was 90% of my free time. It was number one in my life. until someone took that away from me: Ryan Tyna. He was my coach, and he made me hate the sport i loved because of how degrading he was to me, and all my teammates. It tore me down so much that i quit the team, even though he suspended me at the end. Because my attitude wasn't even with it. Because basketball became a chore. it became something i HAD to do, not wanted todo, That was the hardest 6  months of my life, because i had to walk away from a group of girls who were not only my sisters, but my teammates. I was fortunate enough to be going to a different school..

I now am currently enrolled in Mayfield High School. I've already been a part of their basketball program. there is so many mixed emotions because of that. Its been SO hard to find my confidence again. But, because of one man: Chip Bittecuffer, i found it. He has been nothing but supportive through EVERYTHING in my basketball career. He's one of the greatest influences in my life. Last week, i was trying to cope with everything that has happened. I asked myself, why  has EVERYTHING been going so wrong? Why am i losing friends, why did basketball get taken.. and the list goes on. I thought. ya know what, i do know why.
When someone took the number one thing away from me in my life: Basketball, i had NOTHING to fall back on. My grades werent good enough, my friends were't true enough. whatever. But then i realized. Basketball is going to leave me on day. whether its my senior year of high school, or my senior year of college. One day i won't have it anymore, so then what? if i have nothing to fall back on. Thats when i realized that GOD NEEDS TO BE MY NUMBER ONE. because he will never leave me nor forsake me. everything that i put in front of him has left me, or hurt me, and thats why i've been so valnurable. because i didn't have a strong foundation. But now im building a foundation on my UNSHAKEABLE faith. and with an unshakeable foundation, you'll never be broken, because with God, ALL.THINGS.ARE.POSSIBLE,

Sydney

No comments:

Post a Comment